Never be afraid to be the black sheep

March 8, 2018

I’ve spent a long time trying to not be seen. As a 5’10” woman who in the 2nd grade was already 5’7″… I always stuck out. It bothered me deeply. I was teased endlessly even when I was a skinny kid for being a “cow” because I was just plain bigger than the rest of the kids my grade. For some reason, I let that way of thinking that I needed to be like everyone else become one of my goals.


black sheep watercolor original art
by Whiskey and Magnolias


The world started to mold me, and I allowed it.  From this tall, unique creature my parents were so proud of into a Jell-O mold. Why? For what? 

It’s not like when I dressed up in all the white wool that I could blend in. I was still tall. I was still curvy. I could lose 100 pounds and still be bigger than most women and men that I meet. I was still louder than the average person. I still preferred boots and jeans, rather than a short dress and heels. There I was with all this limitless potential to be a unique, fun individual with beauty, passions, and tastes all her own…..  and I was wasting my energy stressing out over being the tall one in the back of the group photo with the girls. Which of course, I was standing in back because I wanted to hide myself being the “biggest” one.

I remember specifically when I was at a photography retreat in California. Rather than entering this experience with excitement, I was just focused on how stressed I was to fit in. While there were people of all shapes and sizes, styles, and passions, I told myself that I was the only “overweight” person there and that was why no one wanted to talk to me. That was why everyone else was being asked to have their portrait taken. I didn’t just put it on my weight, I blamed myself for not being beautiful enough for anyone to want to talk to. In order to get through the social aspects at night time, I took to my favorite coping mechanism – alcohol. It took a whole lot of alcohol to actually connect with people over a campfire and music.

My self-hatred for my body separated me from everyone else that had their own fears and insecurities. People that I could be very close friends with.

How sad is that? Instead of taking in the moment of being at a photography retreat in this stunning canyon on the California Coast…  I spent the entire trip comparing myself to every other single person there. All because of how I felt about my body. All because I picked every piece of myself – outside and inside apart and compared myself to everyone there.  Why didn’t I look like them? Why wasn’t I one of them? Through my self-loathing of myself, I created a separation between people that could have been my friends. I invested my money in this retreat just to spend a week dissecting myself and trying to fit in rather than just being who the fuck I was and diving into my creative self. How sad is that? An experience that could have been so inspiring for my soul turned into something that really crushed my self-esteem and made me doubt myself more than ever.


We all know who we really are. If you really take the time to step away from social media, step away from the company you keep and look deep down to find out who you really are. It’s in the still moments of life that we get to know ourselves. Once you take the time to get deep down to finally meet the real you, then the journey to self-love begins. Take the time to get to know and appreciate who you are. Then you will know what makes you feel confident, sexy and alive. This feeling will change all of your social situations for the rest of your life.

And it is once you truly love yourself for being the little black sheep that you are, that you realize that everyone else in the world feels like a black sheep too. Maybe we aren’t all so different after all.


With gratitude,





stromectol human – oral stromectol cost buy oral ivermectin

cialis pills for men – Cialis price cialis 20mg price australia

online pharmacy no rx – realciapll tadalafil 5mg daily

sildenafil 150mg price – sildenafil blue how much is viagra cost

viagra generic otc – cost viagra where to buy generic viagra online

hello my lovely stopforumspam member

Welcome to Grosvenor Casinos, where you can play a wide range of casino games, from slots to poker, blackjack, and roulette! There’s something for everyone here – become a member of the casino to have the best of online casino gaming. Our Sportbook offers a range of sports betting odds and is available for pre event or in play bets 24/7 and 365 days of the year. Whether you’re here for football tournaments or the latest betting odds for horse racing, Tennis, Golf, Cricket and even Rugby Union, you are covered.

cost of ivermectin 3mg tablets – buy oral stromectol generic stromectol for humans

hello my lovely stopforumspam member

What are the Types of Loans in Ohio depending on the purpose
Specific purpose payday loans in Ohio. Funds received in debt may be spent only for a specific purpose specified in the loan agreement.
Non-purpose loan. The debtor may spend the money received at his discretion.
Most popular specific purpose payday loans in Ohio are:

House loan. The most common, of course, is a mortgage when the purchased property acts as collateral for a loan. Sometimes a youth loan is issued, with lighter conditions for debtors. Still quite common is a housing loan that does not imply purchased housing in the form of collateral.
Car loan – payday loans in Ohio to a car or similar vehicle. The key is often the purchased goods, making the terms of the loan better. Also, loan conditions are improved: car insurance, life and health insurance of the borrower, and receiving a salary to the account of the creditor bank.
Land loan. To purchase a plot for construction or agricultural activities.
Consumer. For purchases in modern supermarkets, equipment stores, you can take a personal loan right at the point of sale. Often, specialists located there can contact the bank and get a regular or fast payday loans. Borrowed funds automatically pay for the goods, and the consultant explains when and how to re-pay the debt.
Educational loan. It is issued to students, as well as to applicants who have passed the competition, to pay for tuition at universities, colleges, etc.
Broker loan. For the circulation of securities, payday loans in Ohio are issued to an exchange broker, se-curities are purchased securities.
Others. Objectives not related to those listed, but agreed and approved by the creditor.

ivermectin 200 mcg – ivermectin pills canada ivermectin 500mg

tadalafil 20mg no prescription – tadalafil best price cost cialis canada

prednisone by mail – 5 mg prednisone daily where to buy prednisone without a prescription

cialis gel – real cialis cialis 40mg online australia

Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and
I’m impressed! Very useful information specially the remaining part :
) I deal with such info a lot. I was seeking this certain information for a very long time.
Thank you and good luck.

viagra 100 mg tablet price in india – viagra 150mg price can you buy viagra in mexico

stromectol 3mg tablets – ivermectin usa ivermectin 1

lupus hydroxychloroquine – mylan hydroxychloroquine generic prednisone pills

vardenafil 10mg – canadian pharmacy oxycodone best place to buy ed pills online

purchase viagra 100mg – buy generic 100mg viagra online price comparison tadalafil

ivermectin price uk – buy stromectol stromectol ivermectin buy

write essays for me – order an essay online buying a research paper for college

accutane price usa – accutane 20 mg accutane mexico

tadalafil coupon – tadalafil prescription online buy real tadalafil online

We spent a lot of time at her home. Maybe so her mother could keep an eye on us. Mrs. Spencer made sure to be around, offering drinks, snacks, chit chat. I noticed that she was fairly young herself. Granted at my age, anyone over 25 was old, but she was probably mid-30s, divorced. If she was a indiction of how Carley would develop, maybe I should wait. Mrs. Spencer had fuller breasts and a nice butt. She appeared to be in great shape for her “advanced” age. I knew she was keeping an eye on me as much as I was on her and her younger daughter. Her eldest, Sharon was away at college at the time. With Mrs. Spencer around we mostly limited ourselves to holding hands and sneaking in a few light kisses. One day Mrs. Spencer caught us by surprise walking in as I’d slid my hand up from Carley’s stomach to rub her right breast through her shirt. She didn’t really need a bra yet, so I could feel her nipple, hard, through her shirt. Just this much contact had me hard also.

generic sildenafil online – non prescription sildenafil sildenafil 20

ivermectin 4000 – ivermectin 3mg dosage stromectol 3mg online

ivermectin india – ivermectin 2mg online cost of ivermectin pill

doxycycline 100mg cap tab – prednisolone 150 mg brand name prednisolone

Fantastic web site. Lots of useful info here. I am sending it to some pals ans also sharing in delicious.
And obviously, thank you for your effort! quest bars quest bars

Hi to all, how is the whole thing, I think every one is getting more from this web site, and
your views are pleasant in favor of new visitors. scoliosis surgery scoliosis surgery

Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail.

I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it grow
over time. ps4 ps4 games

Hello, this weekend is fastidious for me, because this
moment i am reading this wonderful informative post here at my house.
scoliosis surgery scoliosis surgery

ivermectin 0.5 lotion india – buy ivermectin for humans stromectol 12 mg

Hello everyone, it’s my first go to see
at this website, and post is truly fruitful in favor of me, keep up posting such posts.
asmr asmr

Heya i am for the primary time here. I came across this
board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot.

I’m hoping to provide one thing again and help others such as you aided me.
quest bars quest bars

After I originally commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and
from now on each time a comment is added I recieve
four emails with the exact same comment. Is there an easy method you are able to
remove me from that service? Cheers! cheap flights cheap

cialis viagra – Cialis order buy cialis 5mg uk

buy cheap viagra professional – Generic viagra usa where to order real viagra

paperwriter – essay custom writing practice essay writing online

Hello to every body, it’s my first pay a quick
visit of this webpage; this webpage includes remarkable and in fact good material in favor of

medrol 16 mg cost – lyrica usa buy lyrica online uk – how long does viagra stay in your system

Hi it’s me, I am also visiting this website regularly, this
web page is really good and the visitors are actually sharing fastidious thoughts.

Marvelous, what a blog it is! This weblog presents helpful data to us, keep it up.

amoxicillin 500 mg dosage – amoxil for uti amoxicillin price at cvs

Just want to say your article is as astounding. The clearness in your post is simply nice and i can assume you’re an expert on this subject.
Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to
keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the
enjoyable work.

accutane online prescription – accutane 20 mg buy online accutane 10mg daily

deltasone without script online in mexico – prednisone 30 mg prednisone 20 mg medication

I’m really loving the theme/design of your blog. Do you ever run into any browser compatibility issues?
A couple of my blog audience have complained about my website
not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome.
Do you have any tips to help fix this issue?

Somebody necessarily assist to make critically articles I’d state.
This is the first time I frequented your website page and to this point?

I surprised with the analysis you made to create this particular post incredible.
Excellent task!

Hey there! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against
hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any recommendations?

ivermectin 4000 mcg – ivermectin price ivermectin 400 mg brands

generic vardenafil with dapoxetine – cheap generic vardenafil online generic levitra

Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it.
Look advanced to more added agreeable from you! However,
how could we communicate?

mypharmacy – pharmacy what’s the best online pharmacy

Hello, its good article on the topic of media print, we all be aware of
media is a wonderful source of data.

sildenafil 60 mg cost – cheap sildenafil 50mg uk generic viagra no prescription

neurontin 200 mg price – neurontin cap synthroid brand 88 mcg

best price for doxycycline – doxycycline compare prices doxycycline online pharmacy uk

buy ventolin online – buy Albuterol cheap albuterol

generic name for ivermectin – ivermectin dose for covid is ivermectin a prescription drug